I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
