theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
