'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
