he thought i was a dude.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
