But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
