just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
