arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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