Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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