Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
