He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
