i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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