Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
