Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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