Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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