I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize