We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
did you just send me my own nude
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
