There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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