Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
