You don't have asthma, your pregnant
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
