dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
