her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize