try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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