every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
