the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize