Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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