I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
