Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
