I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
