I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Randomize
