I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
