I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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