I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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