i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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