i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
