how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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