Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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