She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize