i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
