I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
