i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
