I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Randomize
