When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
