1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
