singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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