I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
She needs sedatives and a leash
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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