i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
