It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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