I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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