so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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