my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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