Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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