Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
