I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
