it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize