I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
