Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
