My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
