Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
What drink are we having for lunch?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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